I cheated on my husband the other day.
Before I go on, this post is not repentance for shagging a married guy behind my husband’s back. It may however serve to give an insight into why some women cheat. You must be wondering. Why the hell would a happily married Hotwife become a cheating wife? If I can enjoy the pleasure of other men with full permission of my husband, what made me want my own dirty secret? Why do what I have openly frowned on?
I should first clarify that I rarely cheat. Many years ago I cheated with a guy who I initially had permission to fuck but I allowed the arrangement to turn into an affair of sorts. I would see the guy without telling my husband and in effect, I became unfaithful. It didn’t occur to me back then that my behaviour was adulterous. I thought I was extending the terms of agreement a little more to suit me. It was a selfish act (as cheating is) and it was a painful speed bump in our marriage.
That miserable chapter on cheating was enough to keep me on the straight and narrow. I even chose not to meet anyone socially without my husband. When I finally met R, I explained the situation clearly to my husband and ensured that R and I met in a public space. Of course that meeting ended in a very hot kiss but nothing more. Frustratingly my husband later asked why I didn’t take him home to have sex.
I’m by no means blaming my husband but he does send mixed signals sometimes which, even after almost twenty years of being together, leaves me unsure of what I should or shouldn’t do. For example, after the three-way with R, my husband suggested that I hook up with him by myself. On other occasions when he’s been away on business, he’s told me that I should get someone over for a late night romp. I suppose what my husband means is that I should do what I want but to run it past him, and make sure I take a video. Therein lies the problem with me.
Trust me, being a shared wife is hot. It affords me the raunchiest fun imaginable but that fun hinges on permission. I need my husband’s seal of approval to have a threesome, or meet a guy for sex. At this point a whole bunch of sexually frustrated but faithful spouses will want to slap me for being so ungrateful. Having permission to fuck other people must be a dream come true for many.
Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely grateful to be in the kind of marriage I’m in and wouldn’t have it any other way. I guess there’s a part of me that longs to have sex on my own terms. To be in control of who I fuck and how. So when my husband went away on business the other week, I broke bad and chased sexual freedom. I fucked someone I shouldn’t have and without permission. Was it worth it? I think what it did was get that notion out of my system. I’m actually good to go back to being shared.
I haven’t told my husband exactly what happened but knowing how well he knows me, I suspect he is aware of what might have happened.