Hotwife Vs Motherhood

This post has been a long time coming but I can’t help but get distracted by the more sexy and fun aspects of Hotwifing. This is rather ironic since in real life, I can only wish I had the time to be distracted by naughty adventures. I may have an online persona as a Hotwife extraordinaire but away from the keyboard I am mostly knee deep in laundry or playing Uber driver.

Motherhood
This woman is NOT thinking about double penetration…

As a busy mother, it’s one thing to find the time to dally with Bulls but it’s entirely another to muster the energy to go through the rigmarole of preparing for a playdate such as shaving, putting on makeup, finding a babysitter and booking a hotel room. Even if hubby can take care of the logistics (perhaps even the shaving…), there’s that not so small matter of actually feeling horny enough to fuck!

So how can a Stag help his Vixen or Hotwife-to-be feel enthusiastic about playtime? A lot will depend on whether she’s a first-time mother to a newborn or a working mama of older children. New mums may not feel overly positive about their post-baby body, or haywire hormones and/or breastfeeding may diminish her sex drive. Established mothers are just plain exhausted. Am I right?

I’ll try and provide some tips on how husbands can coax the Hotwife out from the throes of motherhood:

Put the ball in her court

Firstly, mother or not, if there is any fun to be had, let your partner be the one who comes up with the idea to meet a Bull. You can make gentle suggestions but overly enthusiastic encouragement will just add to her already full plate, so put away the crotchless bodysuit for now. Other than feeling like she’s got to take your sexual desires into consideration, too much pressure will make it painfully aware to her that her own desires aren’t quite ‘there’. My husband never pressures me to play and only gives me cues that he’d welcome a naughty night out if I felt like it. There are nights when I just want to stay home and read a good book but after a while I crave double penetration action. My Stag knows I’ll suggest playtime when I’m ready.

Help get her sex life back on track

Don’t even worry about Hotwifing until your main MILF is back to enjoying sex in general. If she’s not in the mood to even masturbate then there is no point suggesting a five-man gangbang to her. I don’t have the expertise or blog space to cover all the various reasons why women lose their sex drive after having children, nor how to get her groove back, so I can only suggest that you read up on that matter separately before coming back to get Hotwifing tips. If you thought that having sex with another man might magically get that sex drive amped up again, I feel you’ll be disappointed. Please come back when she’s had some good vanilla sex with you and/or herself first.

Redefining her sexual identity

After motherhood, a lot of things change. For one, a woman’s body and body image (I’ll cover that separately one day). Another important change is self-identity and discovering that being a mother is very much a standalone role and it can be hard to switch off to let the super slut resurface. I won’t get into some pseudo-theory about the Madonna/Whore dichotomy, but I think a nymphomaniac mummy is an oxymoron. Make all the MILF references you like but it’s much healthier for a woman to have a separate sexual identity away from her role as a mother, rather than try and be everything for everyone, all the time. Resist fondling her butt cheeks while she’s changing a nappy, and don’t try and suggest threesomes when she’s reading school reports. Instead, help her find a moment away from being a mum. In the beginning it could just be a half hour bath to switch off but soon she may use that time to find her slut space. Do you know how hard it is for a woman to masturbate when she knows someone is going to ask for a jam sandwich any minute?

Please note: if you have a partner whose mindset has changed significantly since becoming a mother and thinks hot, dirty sex isn’t something she should have anymore then I recommend separate reading on that topic.

Hotwifing without having sex

Whether or not your partner was a Hotwife prior to having children, there are many fun and naughty things you can do together even if she’s not quite ready to be a shared wife. If your wife is open to the idea of meeting a Bull but her lacklustre libido or flagging energy level is the key obstacle, being told that you’ve set up a date with the neighbourhood BBC will be overwhelming for her. Take some of these baby steps first. Even seasoned Hotwives need to be ‘awakened’ occasionally to get their sex drive back on track. A flirty drinks date with a new playmate with no pressure to play may be all that’s needed.

If something a little more adventurous is desired then orgainise a full body massage for your partner by a sexy male masseur (ie – a Bull who has some magic hands). It can actually be quite fatiguing for a mother to be constantly touched and grabbed at by small children. That sense of fatigue can then cross over to whenever you try to touch her. It’s therefore important for a mother to learn how to rewire her reception to touch. Arrange for the massage to be non-sexual but let the ‘masseur’ know he is welcome to let his touch linger in certain places for longer than what may be professionally appropriate. The massage should leave her feeling sensual at the very least, but more than likely, extremely turned on.

Finally, get creative with playtime

When children are small and go to bed early, it’s not impossible to host playtime in your own home but it’s not the most relaxed option. If you have a huge house and very sound sleepers then playing at home may be ideal. However, if your wife has to worry about keeping quiet because your apartment walls are on the thin side, she’s not really going to have the best time. If getting a hotel room is possible, then consider having some play time away from the family home. There is nothing sexier than messing up someone else’s sheets after all. You’re also helping to create a more naughty scenario by getting away from her everyday world. Obviously doing this requires babysitters and coins but it can be a monthly treat and something to look forward to.

If you absolutely can’t play away from home due to lack of sitters, then set up a spare room or space for a sexy encounter that your wife can enjoy with a Bull. Let her have some time alone with him while you ensure that she isn’t interrupted suddenly. For more suggestions on how to get the logistics right to make sex fun again, read this post.

Keep in mind that being a mother is a very treasured and important role for a woman. Don’t ever put her into a position of feeling guilty for being a mother. The key is to help her work out how to make motherhood coexist with everything else she wants out of life, from having a career, to having a sizzling sex life. It sadly won’t happen overnight (I won’t lie, it may take years), but there will be a point when that switch flips.

1 COMMENT

  1. Thank you! The advice about putting the ball in her court is really helpful! Trying to force it to happen does get the wrong reaction. And fondling her when she is in mom-mode also doesn’t seem to help. I’ll use your advice now for sure!! Thanks again!

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