Just a bit of forewarning: If you have only ever fantasised about anal sex and think it involves nubile young blondes with perfectly pink buttholes who can take it up the rear all night, don’t read this. I will discuss poo. If you are however keen to digest the good, bag and the ugly about backdoor action, the here’s the truth about anal sex.
I’ll start with the good. I’ve always enjoyed anal sex but as I discovered this year, the best anal sex takes a bit of training and self-exploration. Once you have a good idea of how to control your sphincter and what position is best, anal sex is unbelievably good. For a woman, it’s great to have an alternative hole to play with and being able to enjoy double penetration takes good sex to the next level.
So, the bad and the ugly? Fortunately I don’t think there’s anything that bad or ugly but unlike on-screen anal sex, things can be less than perfect.
Preparation and patience are key
Unlike the vagina, unless it’s perfectly primed for penetration, the anus doesn’t enjoy having something put up it. The anus is also a temperamental creature. It may have easily welcomed a 10-inch monster into its depth one night but try putting a finger up the next, and you’ll find it may be quite resistant. The rectal passage is made of less resilient stuff and even a whole tube of lube won’t be able to prevent some frictional damage. Delicately put (or not), if a stiff poo can cause discomfort going out, then a hard dick going in can be a literal pain in the ass. Listen to your body. If there is pain or discomfort in spite of good preparation and lube, then watch some Netflix instead. The anus may say yes tomorrow.
Expect the unexpected (and the expected)
Real anal sex requires players with a sense of humour and the stomach to deal with whatever nature metes out. Unless you have prepared the rear with an enema, it’s business as usual for your excretory system. Your bowel and rectum don’t care that you want to accept a delivery through the backdoor: they’ve got their own package to push out. Save avoiding high-fibre foods, you’ll have to accept that the anus is a two-way street. If you have a partner who is mature and caring, he’ll keep a tissue handy and get on with the job. If you have a squeamish boy who can’t deal with the slightest tinge of brown, it’s time to move on IMHO.
Constipated? Have some anal sex
I’ve come across a few mentions of this online and indeed, anal sex can certainly help with irregularity. I guess this is because the one muscle that keeps everything in is well and truly stretched out after anal sex. Coupled with having a hard rod shoved up and jiggled, the most stubborn poo is bound to make a hurried exit. Oh, and here’s a bonus item for consideration: if you let a guy cum up your ass, make sure he pulls out slowly and have a full box of tissues handy. Ahh anal sex. Sure beats a glass of prune juice I guess.
Vasovagal syncope (aka – feeling faint)
Now this was a new one for me and it may determine how big or long a dick I choose to take anally henceforth. When I had fairly intense anal sex with Dr D last month, I recalled feeling rather unwell and slightly nauseous for a day or two after. I thought I ate something bad until I Googled ‘feeling faint/nauseous after anal sex‘ (as you do…). Well wasn’t that just educational! It turns out that you can overstimulate the tail-end of the vagus nerve through anal sex, particularly if you accommodate someone or something larger than average. So Dr D literally hit a nerve. I had anal sex again since with a less endowed guy but as he was still vigorous, I did feel a bit yuck for a day. It hasn’t put me off anal sex but it was an interesting reaction!