Musings

What Turns Guys Off

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After two successful dates with J, I thought I finally found a regular play friend. A boyfriend of sorts. J fit the bill perfectly. He was cute, respectful, experienced with couples and had a beautiful cock that I couldn’t get enough of. We were all equally looking forward to developing a semi-exclusive arrangement. What could go wrong?

After some sexy banter last week in the lead up to arranging a third date, I noticed a change in tone. J was keen to arrange a midweek play when he finished his work rotation but it didn’t work out. We were only then left with Sunday as an option since J had plans to go out drinking with friends on Saturday. He said he’d try not to get hungover.

What Turns Guys Off

I was confused. Why he couldn’t have a sensible night to ensure we’d have some hot sex the next day? I subtly suggested as much to J. He said he’d try. I wasn’t impressed. Later towards Saturday, I asked J if he was fine for us to book a hotel room or wait until Sunday to make plans. He said he preferred that we didn’t book anything ‘just in case’.

It was hardly a surprise when I got a message from J overnight to cancel Sunday. He wasn’t feeling crash hot and he had a lot of cooking and shopping to do before going back to work the next day. There was nothing playful about these exchanges either. If anything, he seemed matter-of-fact about it. I made an attempt later to stir up some sexy vibes but to no avail. I could just be paranoid, but I sensed him distancing himself.

Already???

To be fair, J didn’t say he doesn’t want to play again. His job is pretty demanding and he only has a week to cram everything in before going back to work. I just don’t get why he didn’t try harder to cram himself in me when he had the chance.

Anyway, this leads me to consider what turns guys off from a Hotwife. Boyfriends and Bulls are welcome to add their reasons!

He’s not a sex slave

I get the feeling some guys resent being at the beck and call of a Stag and Vixen. It takes three to tango with Hotwifing but as a general rule, our convenience trumps a single guy’s. He needs to be available when we’re available, right? Sadly no. Unless he’s hard up for sex, he can and will say no. Guys don’t enjoy being pressured to perform and I guess there’s nothing more unsexy than a demanding Hotwife.

He wants something more

On our first date, J mentioned that he was hoping to get back into a relationship. He was already emotionally involved with an attached woman at his work which was doing his head in. I knew at that point that I needed to be prepared for J to tell me he wouldn’t be able to play with me anymore one day (but already???). For some single guys, playing with a Hotwife is fun but it does highlight what he doesn’t have in his own life: his own lady to lavish and do fun things with.

The heat is off

The initial sexual tension between two people is what makes a new sexual relationship hot. You just want to fuck each other constantly. Once the mystery of a new pussy wears off though, I guess the sex stops being particularly exciting and a guy may yearn to seek fresher meadows to conquer. But already???

He doesn’t want conditions

Unless he’s met a Hotwife that does exactly what she wants and when she wants, a single guy has to work with whatever conditions are set out by the Hotwife and her Stag. If he has to use a condom, he has no choice. If she can only meet on Friday mornings, he has to clear the diary. Sometimes it’s simply easier to have a regular sexual relationship with a single girl. What turns guys off greatly are rules and bending over backwards to arrange dates.

Sigh…

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