Fuck Yes or Fuck No

This post finds me in the midst of a slump of sorts. I’ve written in the past about dry spells in this Hotwife’s life and for most part, it doesn’t faze me. My commitments outside of being a shared wife is considerable so not reaching some quota of dick per month isn’t an issue. Of course, there’s the occasional feeling of Hotwifing FOMO, but I remind myself that I always catch up with a vengeance later on.

Fuck Yes or Fuck NoBeing busy can’t be helped but this particular slump isn’t caused by a work-life imbalance. I’ve had relatively ample opportunity to get action this year but there’s not been a lot to brag to the other Hotwives about (we totally don’t do that of course…). The year did start off very promising but by the end of February, I just wasn’t… feeling it. Not even the thought of seeing my super athletic Swedish Bull was getting me hot and bothered.

I blame all this on V, the guy I met at the start of 2019; he who pulled out all the stops to meet me and had me enthralled with his seductive, dominant ways. As impervious as I am to the average punter’s bedroom charms, I was captivated by V. He pursued me hard and I became the proverbial putty in his hands. Our physical interactions were hot but so were our online exchanges thereafter which provided intense mental stimulation.

We both looked forward to another explosive session of sex one day but it wasn’t to be. Over time, it became clear that distance was indeed an obstacle and no amount of virtual foreplay could keep stoking the fire. Finally, with our mutual work lives getting busier, the fizz had completely dissipated. Even Cristal has zero appeal if it’s gone flat. Ahh.. Summer fucking, had me a blast.

Things running their course can’t be helped and it’s not the first time I’ve been left high and dry by a Bull, but V in particular bestowed upon me a nugget of wisdom that threw a spanner into my Hotwifing process. He introduced me to Mark Manson, the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. In particular, he brought up the concept of Fuck Yes or Fuck No when enquiring about other men I’d meet.

“How was your date? Was he a ‘Fuck Yes’?”
“Errr? He was OK?”
“But not a ‘Fuck Yes’. When I met you, you were a ‘Fuuuuuckk yeeeeessss’.”

I was pleased to hear that I was on the upper scale of the ‘Fuck Yes’ spectrum but from what I understood, the concept is binary. Yes or No. Pass or Fail. This was in conflict with the scale I generally used to find sexual partners. If they were attractive and interesting, then I was willing to give it a go. Granted, Fuck Yes or Fuck No probably works well when seeking a life partner but should it apply to one-off encounters? Occasional Bulls? Gang bang participants? Did I have it all wrong?

The concept resonated with me given my experience with the guy I chose not to fuck. I started applying Fuck Yes or Fuck No to my own selection process for playfriends and quickly found myself saying Fuck No to virtually everyone on The Site. Too short, too unfit, too inked up… Since V set the benchmark high, a lot of guys were falling short of what I now realise is an unreasonably and unnecessarily high expectation to have for casual sex partners.

Ironically, V had his own shortcomings (pun maaaaybe intended) and had I met him after I implemented the Fuck Yes or Fuck No assessment protocol, I may not have gotten naked with him either. It was getting ridiculous. I was finding fault in every guy who showed interest and guess what? I wasn’t getting laid. Fuck Yes or Fuck No was taking the fun out of fucking. For a woman who occasionally enjoys having sex for the hell of it, it sucked.

This of course isn’t to say that I should ignore the Fuck No bell but where playmates are concerned, I need to stop looking at their deficiencies and consider what a guy might bring to the table. Or bed. Or backseat of the car. I need to get back to fucking less like a single woman who might be lining a guy up for a relationship, and more like a Hotwife who just wants to get her rocks off.

So I’ve eased off on being so black and white about my potential Bulls. It’s better to simply meet a guy socially and not have any expectations. A man who may not be a Fuck Yes immediately can turn the X Factor on later on. Just because the Fuck Yes bell doesn’t ring for a one-off encounter doesn’t mean the sex isn’t going to be good overall. I suppose the opposite may be true in that a Fuck Yes guy could actually end up being a dud sexually. And now that would be hell disappointing.

If I’m going to follow a mantra, I think I’ll stick to Nike.


  1. This definitely is relatable for my wife and my situation so thank you for putting your thoughts out there. My question is, and I apologize if I missed it above, do you/will you use this approach when it comes to regular studs or was your meaning more for the guys you meet for the first time socially? My wife is picky (and she should be given we are happy in our sex life) and there are a couple guys she had fun with but is just not into after getting to know or as time as gone by. She would prefer the โ€œfuck yesโ€ guy come back for more.

    • Thanks for visiting ๐Ÿ™‚ Good question and I don’t think I covered that enough but I generally meant that Fuck Yes/Fuck No is a sensible concept but that it doesn’t work for Hotwives unless they are not fussed about getting laid regularly. Being picky is good and no woman should settle for Fuck No guys, but setting too high a standard isn’t helpful either, unless you happen to have an abundance of Fuck Yes guys living in your area. For me, a regular playfriend has to be a Fuck Yes but not necessarily instantly on the first date. That’s rare to be honest. Guys for one-off encounters and group play certainly don’t need to be Fuck Yes. I totally get how an ‘almost Fuck Yes’ guy could lose appeal over time. It just comes down to chemistry and as I explored in a different post, while it might not be there immediately, you can develop sexual chemistry over time and that keeps a guy’s status as a Fuck Yes ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Hi Guys, is this all written by a guy??? the language is of a man talking rather than a woman…i have a very hot wife and we have a lot of fun too

    • So women can’t talk or write like men? What does that even mean these days? If a woman wants to fuck then what’s wrong with saying it exactly how she thinks? Glad you have fun with your wife but I hope you let her express herself however she wants.

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