In the world of BDSM, a Dom who is worth his salt will ensure that his submissive receives proper aftercare at the end of every session. Playing out an intense scene sends a sub into an endorphin-charged journey (subspace), but like all good highs, there’s the resultant drop. Subdrop is very real, and an experienced Dom will do whatever he (or she) can to make sure his sub weathers the gamut of emotions in a safe and sane way.
While a standard Hotwifing session isn’t likely to require the massive production of happy hormones to cope with the pain inflicted during BDSM, I do nonetheless believe that there is such a thing as a Hotwife drop. It may not be as pronounced or prolonged as what a submissive experiences after being flogged by her Dom, but a Hotwife can certainly feel a similar comedown after a night of heightened sexual euphoria.
Not all women will experience a drop but from what I have read on Reddit and elsewhere, it’s not at all unusual to get the blues after being the centre of intense sexual attention. I’ve covered a few topics that may shed some light as to why some Hotwives may feel a drop. Post-sex rejection is keenly felt by women who need a little extra from their Bulls after a play session, myself included. Sometimes a drop is just a moment of feeling dismayed, whereas other women will stew over the lack of post-sex attention for weeks.
But hang on. Isn’t a Hotwife just in it for sex? If a Bull gives her five orgasms, then surely he doesn’t owe her anything else? In theory, yes, but we’re all humans after all and no one can predict our reactions, not even ourselves. Some Vixens will never experience a drop; their brains are wired to enjoy the sexual high independent to other emotional needs that come after being ravaged and used (in a good way). Other women need a more gradual weaning off of the sexual buzz and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Hotwife aftercare is something that a Stag and a Bull should be mindful of, though mostly the former since he’s gotta live with a glum Hotwife! The aftercare doesn’t need to be anywhere near as extensive as for a subdrop. It could be as simple as having a nice breakfast together the next day and casually chatting about the night before. This gives your Vixen a chance to express herself, rather than bottle things up once the party is over. It’s also a perfect way to remind her what matters: you and her.
Aftercare also should include validation that your Vixen is indeed the supreme freak on the block; even if her Bull hasn’t texted to say thank you yet. Hotwife drop can happen if a guy puts her on a sex pedestal but stops being outwardly appreciative of Her Royal Freakiness once he loses his load. You can’t control how a Bull feels or behaves but as a part of Hotwife aftercare, a Stag should remind his Vixen that men will always think she’s sexy but they are equally mindful that she belongs to someone else. Bulls know their place and she shouldn’t take it personally if his ardour cools after playtime ends.
Here are some further suggestions to help couples come up with their own Hotwife aftercare plan:
- If your partner does suffer from low self-esteem at times, then please read Thick Hide and make sure she’s built for the lifestyle in the first place. If your Vixen is continually adversely affected by a Bull’s lack of attention after sex, she needs to reevaluate why she’s Hotwifing.
- Be honest about your Hotwifing expectations. Some couples are literally in it for the sex whereas others may not realise it but they do invest emotionally and need to feel connected with a playfriend. Sometimes a Vixen just wants to be fucked and it’s the Stag who wants the post-sex engagement. Whatever the case, make sure you both know what you want.
- If your wife’s drop is entirely to do with the lack of attention after sex then remind her that play sessions are just like holidays. They are exciting and fun but they have to end some time and we all go back to reality, including the Bull. You just have to look forward to the next one!
- If your playfriend is perfect other than not being attentive after ejaculating, then casually mention to him that your Hotwife loves getting flirty, dirty text messages in between play meets. You’d be surprised how many single guys feel it’s inappropriate to have any contact with a Hotwife outside of planning a date.
- I think having the one regular Bull is the pinnacle of Hotwifing but if your Vixen experiences drops then it’s a good idea to have more than one playfriend at a time so she doesn’t feel dependent on any single person. If one isn’t available or giving her what she wants, then she should move on to one that will please her.
- Some play sessions (such as gang bangs) are pretty demanding physically and mentally so watch out for any emotional fallout. Unless she wants it and isn’t sore, sex should wait. Have some nice cuddles instead or offer to give her a relaxing massage to balance out the physical toll being a sex toy can take on a woman’s body.
- Some men may unintentionally objectify your Vixen and she can end up feeling used (in a bad way). As a Stag, it’s your job to make sure that the guys you invite to play are respectful and appreciate the opportunity. Play should stop the moment a Vixen or Stag feels disrespected. If an experience leaves a Hotwife feeling degraded then err towards a more romantic, softer play next time. Not all Hotwifing sex has to be dirty and slutty. Some Vixens (and even Bulls) prefer sensual play.