Reader Question: Hotwife Body Confidence

“Hi, I am new to being a Hotwife. My husband and I really enjoy this lifestyle but I have a lot of self confidence issues with my body. Which I want to tell you you look incredible…
Long story short, I had 3 C-sections in 4 years and needless to say, mom body doesn’t look too good on me lol. I was wondering if you know what I could do to help get more body confidence and tone up more.”

Regardless of being a Hotwife or not, many women struggle with body image and confidence which inevitably affects their sex life negatively. Body image may not be a daily concern but we have all had a day or moment where we’ve just felt… meh. I don’t think I need to tell anyone that when you’re not feeling great about yourself, the last thing you want to do is have uninhibited sex, let alone with two buff BBCs.

Body ConfidenceThank you for saying I look incredible but a lot of what I show on Instagram is just clever angles and poses 😅 That isn’t to say I don’t think I look great when I see myself in the mirror, but I know all too well how less likely I’ll pose or put myself on social media if I’m feeling meh. Being in isolation at the moment, I’m moving less and eating more so your question comes at a time when I’m booting my own butt to get toned and Hotwife-ready again.

My first advice to you is to be kind to yourself and your body. You went through three pregnancies in such a short time and a C-section can be tough to recover from. Be grateful to your body. However, on the other side of the coin, if you’re grateful to your body, let’s treat it right. Feed it good things and get it moving. You don’t need to go all Paleo and train for the half-marathon but have a think about what improvements you can make in the short term.

If you haven’t embarked on any major exercise routine in a while, go easy at first. I’m assuming you’re fully recovered from childbirth so you can do some moderate impact activities. I don’t actually suggest running or even jogging, especially if you are carrying some extra weight. A good, brisk walk with or without a pram every day is a great start. You do need to get your heart rate going so if hubby can look after the kids for 30 minutes during the day, go and pace it out on your own. I could go on here but there are many good online resources to build your cardio up gradually. For now, walk it girl!

Back home, get yourself some light weights and resistance bands. If you can’t buy equipment, fill up juice bottles with water or use canned items. You won’t need anything heavier than 2kg (4 to 5 pounds?) if you’re new to using weights. Resistance bands are super cheap so order some in if you’re in isolation. There are a lot of great Apps to help you get toned so Google the workouts that appeal to you the most. A 15 minute session twice a day will definitely help.

As for nutrition, there’s a lot of information out there but if you’re not sure where your eating habits are at, keep a food diary for a few days. If you can see a lot of food items that could be swapped over for something better for your body, do it. My only advice is to cut down on sugar where possible. That stuff is not great for your body. A serve of cheese with crackers is better than a slice of chocolate cake. Have a daily treat if you really have to have something sweet but start looking at healthier options such as honey (real stuff) with peanut butter rather than jam.

When you make some positive changes in your routine, you’ll feel better and body confidence will come along with the change. It’s all about looking after yourself and creating a positive mindset. Sex also gets better when your mindset is positive. Once you’re on a roll, the Bulls had better watch out!


  • Don’t expect an overnight miracle. Changing your diet/fitness should be a long term goal.
  • Get hubby to help you keep on track (or get him on track too). Changes are easier to adapt to with a team member or a supporter.
  • Invest in a fitness tracker if you can. There are some affordable trackers these days. Make sure you’re getting those steps in every day.
  • Consistency is key. Make exercise time, ‘me’ time. Put on your favourite tunes and make sure you set aside that time everyday to exercise.
  • Scales are a double-edged sword so only weigh yourself occasionally. You will build muscle which weighs more than fat, so unless you’re doing a lot of cardio and eating for weight-loss, your weight may not decrease greatly. Go with how your clothes fit instead.
  • Set a goal. Maybe treat yourself to a new lingerie set once you reach a weight-loss goal or complete a set of daily exercises over six weeks.


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