Hotwife Struggles

If you follow me on Instagram then you may have seen that I spent the Australia Day long weekend in Melbourne. My husband and I planned this trip some months ago: watch a bit of the Australian Open, eat amazing food, catch up with some friends and get some great sex sessions in with local men. All but the lattermost goal was easy to achieve. Yep, the Hotwife struggle is real!

Hotwife Struggles
Me wrangling Bulls, but not in the way I would like…

I’m going to give you a snapshot of my struggles so you don’t get the impression that it’s always an easy ride to pleasure for me, or any other Hotwife from what I have observed. I truly wish that I had decent Bulls on tap, especially when travelling or short on time, but for various reasons, I have to put a reasonable amount of effort into getting laid. Go figure.


Hotwife’s Log

November 2019 – I meet Sailor Jerry while on a holiday in Brisbane via The App. Other than biting my nipples too hard, he’s a great experience. He has a very big cock that stays hard no matter how many times he cums. He tells us that he’s moving to Melbourne in the New Year so we tentatively plan to catch up while we’re there.

December 2019 – SJ is still super keen. He sends me a video to show me how keen but that’s not important. Another Melbourne contact V is growing increasingly inattentive. I’m not needy but his indifference is a far cry from the intense attraction he had for me earlier in the year. I mentally cross him off the long weekend plan.

December 28, 2019This happened. Accompanying videos here. Yes it’s a shameless plug 😅

January 11, 2020 – SJ says he will lock in the Friday night we’re in Melbourne for a play session. He has to drive almost an hour after work but he’s still excited to meet again. I come across a guy on The App that appeals to me and given my husband was happy for me to have more than one play date, I approach Nine Inch Nail and start chatting. NIN says he is only free on Friday afternoon or evening.

January 15, 2020 – I leave a message with SJ asking if he’s also free on Saturday as it might be easier for him, or if he can give me a preferred time on Friday night. Yes, I am trying to wing a play with NIN first and a session with SJ later. That’s OK right? SJ reads my message on the chat app but doesn’t respond.

January 20, 2020 – There is no response from SJ. I ask him to text me on my number to fine tune our date. My messages on the chat app are not being read. I figure he’s away for work. I chat with V briefly and he tells me that his young son is staying with him so can’t meet me, even though he’d like to. I’m satisfied with that but I also decide to no longer bother with him.

January 21, 2020 – NIN wants to know if Friday afternoon is an option. I tell him that I can’t narrow down a time yet since we have a few things to do before checking in to our hotel. Bizarrely, he tells me that he won’t have a phone after 12pm on Friday and for the entire long weekend. I decide then to approach some other guys on The App. Plan B, C, D etc. are always good to make. I start chatting with Cute Young Thing (free on Friday afternoon or evening only), American Dude (free on Saturday late morning/early afternoon only), Sexy Older Guy (free on Friday night only) and Professional Lad (free on Friday night only). As we’re only free on Friday afternoon and night, and Saturday daytime, this worked well for us.

January 22, 2020 – SJ is not reading or responding to messages on the chat app or The App, even though he has been online on The App. That’s enough reason for me to bail and organise someone else to play with. I’m drawn to SOG the most so I ask if he’s free on Friday night. At this stage, I’m factoring in NIN for the afternoon and SOG for the evening with the possibility of another guy later at night. AD is super eager and asks if we can lock in Saturday morning at 11am. I tell him that if Friday is a big one, then I may not be up for another play session the next day.

January 23, 2020 – SOG is keen to meet after dinner on Friday night. We get along well via chat and I find him physically attractive. And he has a large cock. However, it’s coming to light that he’s not overly experienced with couples. I often drop this particular ball in my man hunt but I feel confident that we’ll still have a good time. NIN is not giving me enough indication that he can find a way to keep in touch with me without a phone. He’s too flaky and I dangle him over the ‘too hard’ basket. PL also gets in touch and tells me that he’s free only after 10pm on Friday but we agree to play things by ear. SOG tells me to message him closer to when he finishes work at 6pm tomorrow to narrow down the meet time.

10:00, January 24, 2020 – We arrive in Melbourne and I get a message from NIN saying that he is only available between 1-3pm which doesn’t really work for us since we can’t check in until 2pm. I tell him so, and leave him my number. I then choose to focus on someone else. CYG messages and asks if we’re free to meet in the late afternoon. I actually have him confused with someone else (easy to do when you’re chatting to so many people!) but after trading photos, I agree to meeting him. AD is still keen to meet on Saturday, even if it’s just for a coffee. I tell him that I’d let him know in the morning.

16:30, January 24, 2020 – I meet CYG at the hotel bar and I like what I see. He’s sweet and innocent looking but I suspect he may be a dark horse. He’s only free for an hour but that suits my husband and I. We finish our drink and go up to our room to play. Yes, I might write a story…

18:30, January 24, 2020 – My husband and I enjoy some drinks and dinner. Our vanilla friends can’t join us so we chill out for a while, waiting to hear back from SOG. He messages me and says he’ll be closer to 8:30pm as there was a crash and the traffic is bad. I tell him to not stress and that we’d see him when he got here. He says he’d do his best. At this point, I am writing SOG off. AD messages again and I tell him that I had an afternoon play. This turns him on and he asks if we’re free for an hour at 8pm after he finishes training at the gym. I completely write SOG off and tell AD to come over.

20:00, January 24, 2020 – AD comes to the hotel bar to meet me in his gym gear which offends his American sensibilities but I tell him we have to meet in public first, or no play at all. We engage in some small talk but I’m DTF. I take him to our room and we have a shower together. Yes, I may write about this too…

21:30, January 24, 2020 – PL doesn’t message me about coming over late and after two great sessions, I’m honestly happy to call it a night. I’m deeply satisfied. My husband is happy, and I made two guys who probably thought they weren’t getting laid (by me anyway), extremely happy.

PL messaged the following morning to apologise for not getting in touch but since we both agreed that a meet might not happen, I wasn’t annoyed. I would consider meeting him still. There was no word from NIN or SOG until I got back to Sydney two days later. It’s unlikely that I’d bother with either of them when next in town.

Ultimately I had an awesome long weekend but it could have easily ended up with zero playdates. Imagine if I held on to the idea of meeting SJ or V? What if I didn’t make the call to replace NIN and SOG? Of course, if plans fell through it wouldn’t have bothered me since I have my husband for a good time, but since Hotwifing is our game, when we want to play, we want to play. So I spend a good deal of time wrangling guys but it’s worth it in the end.

Takeaway lessons:

  • Bulls or playmates are not boyfriends. They should treat a Hotwife with respect and honesty but she shouldn’t expect them to put her ahead of everything. Even the nicest guy like SJ can have a change of mind. It’s best to think of them as a friend.
  • Remember, it’s totally OK to cancel a date with a Hotwife but just be honest. Tell her as soon as you think you can’t make it or don’t ‘feel it’. Give her time to make another plan.
  • Always, always, always have a Plan B, C, D and so on as needed. Things come up and your ever reliable Bull may have to cancel at the last minute. It’s a juggling act of sorts but without promising the world to Plan B or C, set the night up to make sure one of them might be around to take Plan A’s place.
  • Guys, don’t be a Fuckboy with a Hotwife. There’s no need. She doesn’t want more from you than sex. She does however deserve respect so don’t ghost her because it’s easier than explaining yourself.
  • Hotwives, know when to move on or pull the pin on an arrangement. I expected better from both V and SJ but I can’t take their attitude personally. It’s none of my concern why they changed their tune. I just know they won’t be invited to spend time with me again.


  1. You sure nail it with this post. Hotwifing can feel like a lot of work at times and it is tricky juggling potential play pals who flake, don’t communicate, or plain just don’t show up or follow through. You were so wise to build in plan b, c, and d, so your trip wasn’t a hotwifing bust. This is the one thing that just turns us off so much – putting together a plan with someone and having it fall to the wayside. In small, distant towns, there isn’t really enough ‘action’ to have a plan B in the wings waiting, much less more options.

    Love your posts. Keep ’em coming.

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