No Married Men. Preferably.

I don’t play with married men.

In light of being a shared wife, I’m sure the irony of this rule won’t be lost on you. I’m a married woman who has sex with other men, but I don’t want the men I fuck to be married. Even if they are shared husbands themselves. What gives?

I got in touch recently with a guy whose profile I had admired on The Site. Very nice photos of a buff torso and well written words about his genuine desire to join couples. I sent him an indication of interest and he wrote back almost immediately, pleased but confused since he was married and my profile said ‘no married men’. Too preoccupied by his torso pics, I had completely overlooked his relationship status.

Married Men
Damn it. You don’t need to call her right away…

I apologised for wasting his time. He asked me if his status really was a problem. Apparently he had his wife’s permission to play. Given my disappointing experience with the unattached R, maybe a guy who otherwise ticks all the right boxes shouldn’t be overlooked, even if he’s someone else’s spouse. To my surprise, I typed back ‘Maybe’.

Up until that point, I gave attached guys a wide berth, particularly if they’re cheating. I appreciate there’s a fair chunk of grey area where infidelity is concerned but I’m not interested. It’s none of my business what other people do but I won’t reward bad behaviour with good sex.

So what about my counterpart, the shared husband? Men who are ‘married but allowed’? I don’t go there either. Ultimately I’m just not turned on by the idea of fucking another woman’s man. That’s right. This shared wife does not enjoy sharing her men, except her own husband.

It’s hard to explain why I feel this way. Perhaps I need to know that a man can enjoy me with total abandon. I don’t want him thinking about any other woman when he’s going down on me. When he goes home, I want him to get hard thinking about me, pulling himself off at the thought of his cock buried deep inside me. I don’t want a wife distracting him from fantasising about me. Narcissistic isn’t it?

Still, I think I can see myself moving away from this self-absorbed demand for sexual attention. I expected R to be OK with sharing me when quite possibly he also had that need to fully possess me. To feel like he was the only man that mattered to me. Impossible when my husband is behind me, silently reminding you that I’m not yours.

I think I’m on to something but I’ll extrapolate another day. It’s time for bed.


  1. Hi Emma-

    Great blog and some fascinating insight. I have played in the ‘married with permission’ pool and actually found that I was finding more anymore women who were playing without the hubby’s knowledge. From your experience do you find that the number of women who cheat is pretty much equal in number to the men who cheat? Just curious.

    • Hi Kent. Thanks so much for reading my blog 🙂 I honestly feel that woman are cheating as much as men these days. I think it’s got a lot to do with women no longer being ashamed of enjoying sex so if there’s not enough at home, or the sex isn’t good, there’s as much likelihood for women to cheat.

  2. As a “married with permission” myself I find this horrible and two-faced. A married man can give more personalized attention with lower risk for complications. My wife and I have had frank discussions and realize that while our love and devotion to each other is healthy, she is not healthy and can’t meet my needs but doesn’t expect me to be limited by hers. It may be romantic for the man to forgo his needs for his wife but realistically it’s toxic and leads to heartbreak. Her Christian upbringing precludes her from participating or observing so we have a respectful “Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t miss dinner or be obvious to our friends” arrangement. The problem is when I try to be forthcoming and honest I often encounter sexual bigotry like this. For the women who will listen and understand I offer more than the fuck n’ duck your typical Bull does so you’re cheating yourself out of many wonderful nights by presuming to prejudge me.

    • I do get where you’re coming from but everyone it entitled to play in the way that works for them. You’re not cheating so I’d like to think you escape the ‘bigotry’ (though I feel people are entitled to give cheaters a wide berth) but for me personally, I am just not turned on by other women’s men. The scenario doesn’t excite me and from a logistics point of view, it’s not ideal for me. This hasn’t changed since I wrote that post. One of my favourite Bulls got married shortly after we stopped playing, and he got in touch recently to see if I was still interested in him. In spite of his large cock and the great sexual chemistry we had, his marital status (and that he was cheating) turned me off. I met a different guy earlier this year who confessed that he was married but had permission to play: on every second Tuesday that he was not away with work, and when he allocated time for play. That’s hardly sexy. My husband and I don’t have time to align our schedule with those of others and their situation. It’s not sexy. For other people however, a married guy with permission may be the perfect scenario.

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