Reader Question: Moving Forward

“My wife has been reluctant to explore anything to do with Hotwifing. ¬†We’ve recently had an upswing in communication, and I think now she understands the fantasy a bit better. She says she is now ready to play with other guys for real.
Recently, she agreed let me arrange a night out for the purpose of flirting with other guys. We’re going to a casino, and while I can be there and watch, I’ll be across the room.
Do you have any tips for us moving forward with this fantasy? She does think the fantasy is hot, but has always not wanted to do it for different reasons. We have a great marriage, but I’d love to explore the fantasy and get the spice that that would bring to our marriage.
If you have any advice, it would be appreciated.”

Moving Forward
By the way. My husband wants to know if you’re hung.

I think if your wife has shown interest then it’s really just a case of letting her take control. As a supportive Stag, your role is to play wingman until she works out how she wants to play the Hotwife game. You’re always welcome to make suggestions and raise any issues, but while things are pretty new to her, she needs to go at a pace that she finds comfortable. If you want to be encouraging then take her out to buy a new dress or lingerie so she knows you’re genuinely excited for her, not just because you’re fulfilling your own Hotwifing fantasies.

If you’re looking at taking your adventures to a public arena then set some goals for the night. Perhaps all she needs to do is flirt with a guy, get him to buy her a drink (or vice versa) and get his number. Don’t forget that the other party doesn’t know what’s going on so unless you two set limits, he’ll be doing his absolute best to score. There will be some hard sell to get your wife into the sack so she needs to be able to handle that. Work out how far she wants to go and stick to that plan. On the contrary, having sex with a strange man after one drink isn’t ideal either so make sure your wife goes to the bar with the right attitude. She has to want to fuck another man. Not just go through the motions.

Her first experience at ‘picking up’ should leave her on a sexual high so you won’t have much trouble moving forward. Discuss how she wants her date to unfold with the guy (assuming she got his number). Perhaps dinner then some hot sex at a hotel? If she feels unsure about going about it on her own, then she may need to fess up about her Hotwife status and explain that she’d like you to meet him first (if not be in the same room). Most modern men should have an idea about Hotwifing but you may need to be prepared for the guy to back out as well (and that’s OK).

Hopefully you’ve hit the open-minded Bull jackpot and your wife’s new friend is more than happy to be filmed or watched, or do whatever’s needed to make your wife’s first foray into Hotwifing a sexcellent moment. As much as you may desperately want the first time to happen ASAP, if any element of the arrangement doesn’t feel right, then you must back out. Let your wife know that she can change her mind too. There will be other nights and other Bulls. Trust me, what you don’t want is a negative experience to put your Hotwifing plans on the back-burner. Forever.

NB: If your wife likes the idea of meeting a random at a bar (as opposed to Bulls via adult dating Apps) then all precautions should be taken as per regular dating. From the point of view of safety, I do recommend that you stay nearby even if your wife suggests she doesn’t want to be watched constantly. If you do not like the look of a guy who approaches your wife then send her a text to tell her to move away. If she doesn’t like the vibe a man gives off, she should run: no exceptions. Your wife should stay near the bartender and ensure any drink bought for her is served in front of her.

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