An aspect of Hotwifing that comes up from time to time is the ritual of reclaiming. After a Hotwife has been ‘taken’ and ‘owned’ by a Bull, her Stag then ‘takes’ her back makes her his again. As it suggests, reclaiming is a way for a Stag husband to assert his alpha position over the Bull. Needless to say, Cuckolds don’t get to reclaim their Hotwives, so reclaiming is generally limited to the Stag/Vixen flavour of Hotwifing.
I would describe reclaiming more as a sexy spin-off after a Hotwife has come home after a date with a Bull or a dirty MFM/group session. It’s a way for a Stag and Vixen to bond over their naughty secret; recapping the night’s event while having even more sex. For some Stags, reclaiming provides a sexual high. After all, what’s more arousing than your slut wife being savaged by a horny stud? Knowing that she’s yours.
Of course, not all Stags feel the need to engage in reclaiming, or if they do, they don’t have to do it each and every time his Vixen has a playdate. Like anything sexual, reclaiming should be a spontaneous act done with the right intentions. Furthermore, in spite of how I worded the concept above, a Hotwife should very much have a say in whether she wants to be ‘reclaimed’ or not. We aren’t living in the 1800s after all!
Reclaiming can be anything from rough, hair-pulling sex that’s over in ten minutes, or soft, languid love-making. There are no rules other than to do what comes naturally. Reclaiming might not even involve sex. After all, the concept is to bring a Hotwife and her Stag back together and not all men see intercourse as a way to reconnect. Having his beautiful wife prepare breakfast for him the next day may be more than enough reclaiming.
The main thing with reclaiming that it should only ever be viewed as a fun add-on to the Hotwifing game. You’re no less a Stag for letting your wife simply go to sleep after a playdate. I feel that a husband who has an incessant need to reclaim has a slight problem with where he sits in the lifestyle. It’s not uncommon for some Stags to feel left out, particularly if his Hotwife prefers to play solo, but reclaiming shouldn’t be seen as a cure to that problem. Reclaiming shouldn’t be used to validate your relationship.
I mention this as a Twitter follower was concerned that his wife didn’t want to have post-play sex with him but I get where she’s coming from on a number of levels:
- Reclaiming is never sexy if it’s demanded or expected. It’s even less sexy when denied, it becomes a relationship issue. No one wants to be pressured into sex, nor wants to spend the rest of the night arguing about it. Not wanting to be reclaimed shouldn’t be taken personally. It sometimes doesn’t feel right. As I mentioned before, reclaiming should only be done for the right reasons. If you’ve used reclaiming in the past to bring up sex grievances (“You’re so much louder with him because his cock his bigger” etc.), then little wonder your wife would rather go to sleep.
- Sometimes a Hotwife just wants to bask in the afterglow of hot sex. Sure, it may not have involved you, and it may suck that it didn’t, but reclaiming shouldn’t be a condition you put on your Hotwife for doing what you both ostensibly want her to do: fuck other men. If not having post-play sex with your partner makes you feel bad then there’s a problem with the ‘fuck other men’ part of the deal. A Stag should want to high-five his Vixen as much as devour her because she’s such a bad, bad girl, and good at it.
- Don’t forget that women (and men) have an on/off switch when it comes to sex. Your wife may have gleefully taken four guys in all imaginable ways earlier in the night but once the party’s over, it’s over. The endorphins bottom out and she’ll start feeling sore and fatigued. Do you really want to reclaim a woman who isn’t really up to it physically? Put her to bed, cuddle her and remind her in the morning how awesomely slutty she was. It just might turn that switch back on.
- Hotwifing should be mutually pleasurable for the Stag and Vixen, but no one should feel they owe the other something for taking part in the lifestyle. If some imbalance is felt then press pause on Hotwifing and talk it out. Discuss other alternatives to reclaiming that may lessen the sense of missing out, such as taking videos and photos, or sticking to MFM play so the Stag is involved in the action.
- If your Hotwife flatly refuses to be reclaimed and generally likes to keep her Hotwifing activities to herself then that points to a bigger problem. If you fell into Hotwifing and you never set out any ground rules then it’s possible that your partner views what you have as an open relationship or regards you as a Cuckold. If you didn’t sign up for either of those, then you need to have a frank discussion. ASAP.
- Finally, even if reclaiming is part of the deal you’ve struck with your Vixen in exchange for her going on playdates with other men, accept that things may change on a date by date basis. Sometimes a date may not have been what a she had hoped for and she’d just rather forget about it. Be her friend and make her a cup of tea. You’re a team at the end of the day and that’s more important than any act of reclaiming.