Sexual Chemistry

I’m currently working on a short story but it’s taking longer than I expected to roll out. Call me a pedant dressed up as a perfectionist but I don’t want this story to be yet another attempt at erotica by someone who fancies herself as an author. I have written stories before but they’ve purely been for personal consumption. I guess I’m keen to see if my type of sexual kink resonates with other people 😉

So this post is my interim offering. As usual, it’s related to some lamentation of mine and this time it’s my internet toyboy lover.

Sexual Chemistry

Over the last four months I’ve been having an online ‘thing’ with an utterly gorgeous 27 year old guy who I contacted on The Site. E is from my hometown but currently lives in Europe with his older girlfriend who is a fellow muso. He told me they have an open relationship of sorts but in retrospect I suspect otherwise. Anyway, being a virtual tryst, I didn’t really care. We were crazy turned on by each other and we didn’t let distance stop us from devouring each other with flirty banter, very dirty sexting and even dirtier sessions of webcam sex.

Curiously, his contact became less regular a few weeks ago. When we did chat, his replies were still sexy but a touch perfunctory. He read my most recent message but didn’t bother replying. Not being a needy, crazy woman (much), I shrugged it off. I did enter a period of pining however as I realised how much I craved him. Yes, a guy who I had never met, and may never meet, was driving me insane with lust. It’s anyone’s guess but he’s either very busy with work or (more likely), he’s been reigned in by the girlfriend. Either way, it’s very annoying.

Why am I annoyed by an online dalliance getting curtailed? Because real sexual chemistry is rare. That intoxicatingly delicious connection between two people doesn’t actually happen that often; and it’s often never instant (like with B). Usually there’s a little bit of spark to work with and the sexual chemistry intensifies like a well stoked fire. In the absence of that spark, we ultimately decide to sleep with someone because we want sex, not necessarily because we want THAT person in particular. I think we’ve all been there right?

You may be asking, would I be this hung up about E (or indeed R) if not for his good looks? It’s hard to say, but I do think sexual chemistry isn’t dependent on physical attractiveness. I’ve had sex with many good looking men but felt little to no chemistry with them. The sex was good but it never left me wanting more. In fact, I didn’t care if I never saw them again. Conversely, I’ve slept with men who were more or less average in attractiveness but years on, I find myself daydreaming about them. It’s either there or it isn’t I suppose.

Just recently I had two threesomes but they were chalk and cheese. The two guys were differently attractive but I had no preference for one over the other. I spent a reasonable amount of time chatting to both online to establish a little connection. Up until I met them in person, I was keen to fuck both. The first guy (a visiting soldier…), I just about wanted to jump on as soon as he arrived. It didn’t take long before he kissed me and we moved into the bedroom within 30 minutes of him arriving. The second guy was as good looking as I expected but there was nothing. I clearly remember thinking that. By the time he came on my face though, we managed to build some rapport.

With the first guy, I wanted to fuck him. With the second guy, I just wanted to fuck. I think that sums up sexual chemistry!


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