Stag Vixen Bull?

I personally don’t like labels. Especially those that are applied to people based on their sexual behaviour. Some labels can be useful or fun, but others invite speculation and misunderstanding about what someone does or doesn’t do. For that reason, I prefer to

Stag Vixen Bull
Don’t call me a cuckold!

refer to myself as a shared wife, but for the sake of convenience, I’ll answer to the generic label of Hotwife too. Just don’t call me a Slut Wife or Cum Slut or any variation of words that suggest there’s something wrong with my enjoyment of non-normative sexual activities.

There are a few labels that do however amuse me, as much as I am still loath to use them myself. Curiously, they are all animal related. They each describe the three main players in a Hotwifing scenario: Stag Vixen Bull. I actually don’t mind these terms since they are relatively neutral, if not mildly positive. They don’t seem to invite misconceptions as much as other labels either.

But how the heck did someone come up with these names? Time for a little research!


As I thought, the term Bull is intended to conjure up an image of a strong, dominant male that is led into the bedroom to service a woman (usually a Hotwife). Much like the animal itself, when presented with a female, a Bull immediately knows what to do and doesn’t stop until the job is done. In the extreme form of cuckolding called breeding, the Bull is literally brought in to inseminate too. But that’s a whole ‘nother world!

In general though, ‘Bull’ is used to refer to any man who is invited to join a Hotwifing couple. I personally don’t like the term since the idea of being serviced by a Bull is a bit off. I also don’t like the inference that a Bull is sexually superior to the Hotwife’s husband. Still, in the spirit of playing roles and not being a complete killjoy, I don’t hold it against a single guy if they advertise themselves as bulls. At least they’ll know what’s expected of them which is gold in my book.


I can’t help but think Stag is a fairly new term and possibly coined for want of a better word to describe a husband who isn’t a cuckold but enjoys sharing his wife. I’ve only really come across ‘Stag’ on Tumblr and it’s only just debuted as a definition on Urban Dictionary this year so it can’t be that widely used. Yet. Beyond Tumblr however, I don’t think Stag will make much sense to most Hotwifing couples.

I suppose I don’t mind ‘Stag’ and I certainly prefer it over Cuckold, which many husbands of Hotwives aren’t anyway. There’s an air of pride about Stag. Think of the mighty male deer with its majestic horns! It at least connotes a positive role in the partnership rather than a passive bystander which is exactly what I’d describe my own husband. Not sure if I’d call him a Stag though.


Whoever came up with ‘Stag’ more than likely came up with ‘Vixen’ too since it’s just as unfamiliar an alternative term for Hotwife beyond Tumblr. Curiously, it only entered the Urban Dictionary in March this year too. If these Tumblr bloggers work at it hard enough, both terms may end up being mainstream labels in no time!

A vixen is of course a female fox. As women, we’re fairly accustomed to being called a fox or foxy so it’s not a big stretch to be called a Vixen I suppose. However, Vixen hasn’t always been a positive term (it traditionally refers to women who bust balls) so I’m not sure how happy I am to adopt the term myself. I’ll stick to being a shared wife or Hotwife. I just can’t do these animal terms!

Update – I was contacted by a Tumblr author who lays claim to coining Stag and Vixen and his definitions are very good.


  1. I’ve never encountered the use of “stag” in this context until arriving here (so thanks!). Given that people love labels and pigeon holes, it seems stag could be the missing label in the list of wife-sharing dynamic labels. My wife and I are an example. 10 years married. Deeply devoted to each other and ourselves on every level. Including fanatical attention to sexual exploration, engagement and satisfaction.

    Please note – I’m grasping for labels and may misuse them here…

    Currently, 80% of the time, I “own” her in an almost-literal sense. She answers to fucktoy, advances no opinions (nor wants any) and at the height of her orgasms, there is a continuous stream of “slut”, “whore”, “owned by you”, “cumdump for any cock that wants me” and similar. The other 20%, she exercises whatever control she wishes to exert over my person.

    She has my consent and I have hers. In every way, we are never equal (who is “equal”? it’s impossible!), but we are always equivalent and of equal standing as individuals.

    Simply put (for her, most of the time,) ceding her rights of consent, control & personal opinions, is her chosen (and therefore, most successful) method, to pursue her desires and sexual satisfaction. So I use her. Share her (in)discriminately. Built a private glory hole (appointment and 8:30pm tonight). And we fuck a lot of people.

    I don’t know if stag is accurate, but it’s closer than anything I’ve seen thus far.

    • Hi there! Wow. I think you could be an entirely new species of Stag/Dom. I think labels are convenient but most never really fully explains what every person is really into and how they like to play. Some people will suggest that I’m not a true Hotwife because I have to have my husband’s permission, but on the other hand, if I don’t let my husband participate in the process, I may has well be in an open relationship. Another label!
      I’m very interested in how you play. I guess you’re a Stag/Vixen couple who engage in Dom/Sub play with a twist of Switch. Sounds fun to me!

      • haha maybe! The idea that we are something never seen before is kinda crazy though, right? We’re all unique, but we all fit on the bell curve… What you say about your dynamic makes total sense. We have that “open relationship”, but due to her submissiveness, it expresses a lil differently 😉

        And yep, the swith aspect really delivers some mind-bending experiences!

        My next step: give her a nice lil hotwife anklet to wear – with a twist. It’ll have a rather dainty little padlock on it. I’ll hold the keys, thank you very much 🙂

  2. My wife and I have played a half dozen times or so. We’re definitely in a Stag/Vixen situation. I love watching her with other guys but I HAVE TO BE THERE! When we first started doing this it was complicated at times, but mostly because of other issues. Issues that we often thought must have been coming from the kinky sex, but in retrospect it wasn’t. We haven’t played with others for over a year and had some vicious fights anyways. We went to couples counseling and it was very helpful even with our sexual explorations. He helped my wife see that having sexual fun between to consenting adults wasn’t a bad thing and helped me see that my wife had to feel TOTALLY unpressured. Once we got beyond those issues we were happy to play again. We like to play with an additional guy but no female. I prefer to just watch but have given a guy head to turn her on. It was fun. What was even more fun was watching this guy with a HUGE cock fuck my wife’s brains out! The exotic experiences engaging in this type of activity are impossible to understand unless you have this particular kink. Until I met my current wife, WIFE #3 I was never interested nor did I ever even think of this type of thing. So I totally get it when people think this type of play is totally weird. I’ve never gotten jealous watching my wife fuck another guy. I’ve watched her suck cock and swallow. I’ve watched her moan and shake as she’s cum on another mans cock. I’ve watched guys cum while she’s riding them. All visions I’ll NEVER forget! Some of my favorite memories in life. PERIOD! Sorry but I don’t think God cares as much about people having orgasms as we think he does. Sex among consenting adults is one of the most intense experiences we could ever have. I don’t believe for a second that life long monogamy is for everybody! I do however totally understand the more TRADITIONAL view of sex since I had that outlook for most of my life. I don’t agree with swinger types how judge non swingers. People are truly different and capable of different things.

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