Team Player or Solo Perfomer?

If it’s not obvious from my blog posts and erotica, I’m a fan of group sex or mini gang bangs. I don’t need to take on a soccer team by all means, but I’m partial to intimate sessions with three or four guys in a luxe hotel suite. That’s how I roll. Sadly, such sessions are actually not easy to organise so my partaking of the delights of multiple-cock action tends to be an annual event, just like Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, I wonder if I can have another one like this

Team PlayerIt’s not that I need to be gang-banged every month of course, but it’d be nice to get fully railed on the spur of the moment more than once a year. My husband and I had always hoped to have a reliable stable of Bulls on speed-dial for such occasions but for various reasons, my Dream Team is usually rounded up at the last minute via The Site. The spontaneity is kinda fun but from a logistical standpoint, it’s a pain in the butt. There’s nothing like building up the excitement in the week leading up to a play session, but it’s rare to be able to plan that well ahead.

And how come we don’t have a bunch of Bulls on hand to appear at our group sex whim, you ask? It’s not hard finding the right guy for MFM fun (mostly), but putting together a small group of guys who love group sex and have some experience? Now that’s another kettle of fish. We’ve swiftly learnt over the years that just because a single guy is into threesomes with a couple, it doesn’t mean that he’s keen to join a gang bang. Conversely, there are just as many men who believe the more the merrier, but balk at one-on-one play. Seriously.

I’m never ceased to be amazed and amused by how different our play friends have been. Of the three regular guys we’ve hung out with over the last year, one (BD from Christmas) is a group sex enthusiast and almost has to hide his disappointment if we haven’t lined up more than him for a session. Another friend is flexible and enjoys all types of heterosexual fun, but works crazy hours. Lastly, the young stud we’ve invited over a few times now made it politely clear that he isn’t a team player. He’s very much into the role of the (one and only) Bull, which suits us when we want that Vixen/Stag/Bull dynamic for play.

Fortunately my husband and I do enjoy different types of fun. MFM threesomes are still high up on our list of favourite play situations, and my husband does like to indulge me occasionally with solo play, and the majority of single guys are up for that. Unfortunately, when we get the urge to test my multi-tasking skills, our current play-friends are not all on the same page. This means we’ll have to meet new Bulls but with summer coming up and restrictions easing, it’ll be a fun project.

Still, this does get me thinking as to why some men are built one way, and not the other. Why do some guys love being part of a team, putting a naughty slut in her place, whereas others feel their talents lie as a solo performer? I suppose it’s just an extension of the sexual spectrum; on one end, some men only want to participate in one-on-one sex. So it makes sense that on the other end, there are men who truly only get off on group sex and prioritise it over just simply getting laid with one person.

Without getting into too much psycho babble that I’m truly unqualified to espouse, I think perhaps the preference for one-on-one sex exists in men who do tie their ego to sexual performance. In short, they want full credit for the pleasure given to their partner. I only suggest this based on a common reaction of some guys on The Site when I explain that my kink is having more than one cock at a time:

“Trust me babe. My cock is better than two.”


Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel like the man and the sole-provider of orgasms, but it’s not the experience I’m after personally. Sex outside of my marriage is purely recreational so there’s no need for me to have a intimate relationship with a Bull. As soon as a guy refers to the sex we have as something between me and him, I know he’s not really on the same page as what my husband and I want from a playmate. The pleasure is always a group effort, even if my husband isn’t present.

Perhaps it’s the objectification aspect of group sex that appeals to me, and to the guys who enjoy group fun. I get to play the role of insatiable cock whore who is shared by her husband. It’s the idea that I can’t get enough dick (not that I want sex with another man) that drives everyone’s urge for group sex. I’m given cock in all ways imaginable, and then some. This is probably not an ideal scenario for men who don’t enjoy being just one of many. The pleasure I get from group sex is a cumulative effort, and truth be told, I don’t know which cock, tongue or finger belongs to who after an hour!

So our hunt continues for more single guys who are mid-spectrum when it comes to play. We don’t want group sex fiends who refuse to meet up for a casual drink date, but nor do we want more Bulls who aren’t keen to expand their play repertoire. It’s narrowing our pool yet again, but if the past year has taught us anything, it’s worth waiting for the right sort of fun. Until that amazing group session happens again though, rest assured I’ll be enjoying the cocks available to me.


  1. I’ve been in this lifestyle before as a single guy and enjoyed reading your thoughts on this. As you suggest, it does come down to what each person is looking to experience and these differences are okay.

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