I often get lovely emails and comments from husbands who tell me that their wives have become interested in and comfortable about becoming a Hotwife after reading my blog. They explained that their wives felt reassured after reading a woman’s point of view about Hotwifing. I guess in that respect, my blog is fairly unique and I’m so glad to help.
It then occurred to me that I haven’t actually written that much to a female audience, particularly women who are considering Hotwifing but aren’t sure what it’s all about. Often, it’s the husband who entertains the idea of exploring sexuality and relays his interpretation of a certain lifestyle to his wife, sometimes with negative consequences.
As we all should know by now, female sexuality has different needs and priorities. It’s not enough to say, “Honey, you should fuck the pool boy.” It may be enough later on but if a woman hasn’t ever experienced anything other than a loving, monogamous relationship, it may be a little overwhelming to accept that it’s OK to enjoy fucking for what it is (or isn’t).
I’ll write separate posts later as I know there are two kinds of women: those who have been asked by their husbands to try Hotwifing, and those who are oh so ready to try but need to convince their husbands to let them. For now, I’ll cover some general points for consideration.
Do you want to be a Hotwife?
Your husband may be keen as mustard to see you becoming a Hotwife but are you? You may want to please you husband and even turn him on, but the only reason you should be a Hotwife is because you enjoy sex and want to explore your sexuality and sexual options. What Hotwifing can do for your marriage should only be a secondary consideration. How you feel matters first so if the idea of having sex with other men doesn’t excite you in any way, then you must explain that to your husband. If you’re unsure but do want to try something, consider an alternative such as webcam sex with a single guy, or inviting a guy over just to watch you and your husband have sex. It’s totally fine to experiment on the mild side first. If webcam sex interests you, check out something like Chaturbate.
It’s OK to have sex with other men
If you crave the touch of a strange man but feel held back by guilt or the notion of doing something wrong, then be honest with your husband about it. Some women have had strict religious upbringings so going against long-standing morals can be challenging. Even without that burden, some women may view their sexual attraction to other men as a betrayal of sorts. If anything, many husbands find it very arousing to see their wives become a slave to their sexual desires and definitely don’t feel betrayed. As long as your husband is willingly letting you sleep with other men, you shouldn’t feel guilty. We’re not wired to turn off our sexual response just because we’re married. Just ensure that you honour any wishes on your husband’s part such as taking videos of your sex sessions. And if he doesn’t like a particular guy then you should respect his decision to not see him again. Oh, unless your husband is a Cuckold, in which case fuck that guy in front of him.
You’ll still be your husband’s wife
Some women worry that the dynamics of their marriage will change when another person is invited into the bedroom. I would be lying if I said your relationship won’t change at all, but I think it’s simply a shift towards more openness and honesty. If your marriage is solid in the first place then exploring your sexuality together isn’t going to affect your day-to-day relationship. You might meet all types of men during your Hotwifing journey (the good and the meh) but the best part of the deal is that you get to come home to your husband and share your feelings. I actually can’t think of a better lifestyle personally. I get to enjoy the excitement of flirting like a single woman as well as the joy of being a cherished wife. Your body may be desired and ravaged by other men but you will always be your husband’s wife.
Hotwifing is just a lifestyle choice
I think a lot of couples, especially women, feel that Hotwifing or any kind of alternative sexual lifestyle is an irreversible commitment. I think it’s healthier to look at Hotwifing or swinging as a spectrum lifestyle. You can decide where you want to be on that scale and change your position any time you like too. What you should discuss with your husband is the extent to which you want to experiment at first. Also agree that you can adjust the throttle as needed, or even turn the engine off if you’re sure the lifestyle isn’t for you. The thing you want to avoid is that giant leap from one end of the spectrum to the other. It might seem fun to throw caution to the wind and go full throttle, but it’ll confuse your husband if you’re a voracious Vixen one night then go back to being a monogamous wife the next. Ease into Hotwifing. It’s not a race. Savour every amazing new experience and learn from those that aren’t as successful. Together you’ll work out how much you both want to be involved.