What is Hotwifing?

What actually is hotwifing?

When I first saw the word ‘hotwifing’, I have to admit that being an IT professional, I read it as Hot WiFi-ing. I thought it had something to do with people finding WiFi hotspots in some fun way like Pokemon Go. Obviously, once I read the context of the paragraphs in which ‘hotwifing’ appeared (and the accompanying images), I realised it had little to do with getting free Internet.

Don’t look so surprised guys. You know this is how you roll!

It did however have a lot to do with my lifestyle. I was well aware of the word hotwife from years ago so it’s little surprise that the noun would eventually become a present participle. Hotwifing is the act of being a hotwife. It’s the pursuit of meeting men (and I guess women) other than your husband to fuck, with or without his presence but always with his approval. Keep this in mind.

If you’re wondering how hotwifing differs from cuckolding then the last sentence of the previous paragraph nails it. A hotwife generally has the approval of her husband to meet other men for sex. A cuckold husband’s wife doesn’t give a shit what her husband does or doesn’t approve of. In fact, a good cuck just puts up with it and loves it. You’ll find a good number of Tumblr blogs featuring cuckolding porn. The usual suspects of such porn is the ‘humiliated’ cuckold hubby, the wife who does what she wants, and the ‘bull’ who thinks he owns the wife. Horses for courses.

Hotwifing on the other hand is way less kinky. The husband just loves the idea of his wife being desired and devoured by other men. He may or may not want to be involved in her adventures but he sure the hell does not want to be lied to or humiliated in the way cuckolds do. A hotwife’s husband has a say in what goes on. He may even help his hotwife select her suitors and if he doesn’t like a potential spare cock, then he can veto the whole thing.

The guys who get involved with a hotwife couple aren’t generally referred to as bulls either. In the cuckolding world, bulls are imagined to be the more virile and superior male that’s selected by the wife to show the cuck hubby how much better a lover he is than him. With hotwifing, guys invited to join for a three-way are more or less on an even keel as the husband. He’s not expected to be better. Just good.

I think hotwifing evolved gradually from swinging. I’ll elaborate in another post one day but swinging can be hard work. Sometimes it’s easier to just eliminate one element and find a single guy that the female partner finds attractive. Even more of a bonus if the male partner is bi! Over the fifteen odd years of swinging, I think I’m noticing more and more couples dabbling in threesomes as much as swinging.

I personally wouldn’t describe myself as a hotwife or that we are a hotwifing couple. My husband and I are still very much swingers first and hotwifing is just a secondary type of play we enjoy. My husband definitely still enjoys meeting couples and having sex with other women, but being time poor people, sometimes a single guy for a spontaneous session is all we have the inclination for.


  1. Hi, it’s very interesting to read in your blog.
    I love it to see my wife flirting or to know or to see she has sex with another man. But she isn’t a hotwife, she knows my interests and start flirting for me…she said „it’s nice but it’s not necessary for her“. But at the end when she starts it could go in all directions… talking like friends or (less times) having sex….
    For her it’s very important that there is some feeling only because of sex she never would starts flirting. In 4 weeks we start to visit NY for 1 week. Do you know there some bars or clubs where we can met man for flirting or more? But no especially clubs like swingerclubs that she don’t like….
    Best regards mike

    • Thanks for visiting 🙂 I don’t think it’s important to declare yourself as a Hotwife. I think as long as your wife knows that you don’t mind that she flirts with other men, she’ll work out how far she wants to go. I think it’s hard to connect with random guys at regular bars and clubs. I think it might be best to get to know guys through swingers dating websites/Apps and arrange a date that way. I think guys who are more experienced with couples understand that some women really want to connect before sex.

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